Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Did I mention we have comfy chairs? *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do!

I am the last of my species, and I know how that weighs on the heart so don’t lie to me! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Saving the world with meals on wheels. You’ve swallowed a planet!

Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. I am the Doctor, and you are the Daleks! Aw, you’re all Mr. Grumpy Face today.

Annihilate? No. No violence. I won’t stand for it. Not now, not ever, do you understand me?! I’m the Doctor, the Oncoming Storm – and you basically meant beat them in a football match, didn’t you? Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? You hate me; you want to kill me! Well, go on! Kill me! KILL ME!